Does a Rolling Stone Really Gather No Moss?

Summer in Greenwich, LondonLast summer I was living happily in Greenwich, it’s the best place to be during the summer because the flowers are in bloom, the birds sing a pretty song and the squirrels come out to play. The entire area becomes alive with flora and fauna and abuzz with people. Though it is part of London, once a glimpse of sunshine appears even Londoners head towards Greenwich to escape the concrete congestion of inner-city life. It’s like having a little holiday on your doorstep.

However, fast forward a year and I’m no longer living there. I moved back up to the familiar pastures of Yorkshire when I decided to travel around parts of Asia at the beginning of the year before returning in April. The reason for moving was purely financial – London is one of the most expensive cities to live in the world, and if I wanted to travel for a longer period of time then I had to give up London, at least temporarily. I’ve accepted that life is all about giving and taking, and making compromises with even the things we love the most.

Moving away from London, I can’t help but mull over where I might be this time next year. This is because I love London, I think it’s the world’s melting pot, so naturally I envisaged being there for much longer than 15 months, but I guess I never really thought about it at the time because I never plan ahead in my life. Maybe this tells me I should…?

Being back in Yorkshire is not where I’d have seen myself had I asked myself this question last summer as I lazed around in Greenwich Park looking up at the clouds and throwing nuts to the squirrels. In a way, I feel like I’ve taken one step back instead of forward, but had I not left then I would not have had all the life-enhancing experiences given to me by Japan, Burma, Malaysia, Thailand and Hong Kong.  Arguably those few months in Asia gave me more than London had in 15 months of living there. So I know I shouldn’t feel disappointed that London and I are not to be, because I made the decision to leave to experience something else.

But maybe that highlights a problem of mine – I find it difficult to sit still, it’s said a rolling stone gathers no moss and I think that applies to my character. I’m not good at putting down roots, not just geographically but personally too. Though I’ve gotten much better over the last few years, where previously I dropped out of uni several times, could never hold down a job for more than a few months before wanderlust kicked in and I’d be off, and I’ve never been the most proactive person at calling and meeting up with my friends. I enjoy having time to myself and I like it when I find that quality in others. Herman Hesse’s describes this perfectly in Siddhartha,

“You are Kamala, no one else, and within you there is a stillness, a haven to which you can withdraw at any time and be at home there – just as I can. Few people have that, but yet all of them could have it.”

Luckily though, I have a handful of friends who despite not seeing often, we have a shared love for travelling and try to pick a place once or twice a year to explore together. These are solid friendships.

But I’ve been thinking, does a rolling stone really gather no moss? Good friendships are not validated on the frequency of how often you see each other, are they? What’s a foundation like a house without filling it with happiness? Isn’t stability more a state of mind than a financial measurement?

I know it’s different when children are involved, and staying in one place is often necessary for a stable upbringing, but for as long as I’m sans child do I really need to worry about getting on the property ladder just so I can fill it with fluffed cushions and other material possessions I don’t need? Surely all the important things can be taken with me in the heart where ever I go? That’s because all the important things are usually intangible. Most of my happiness is born from travelling and learning.

The memory of watching the sunset over Inle Lake, experiencing the kindness of strangers during solo travelling, getting lost in a noisy labyrinth, drinking water from a glacial lagoon, sleeping under the stars in the Wadi Rum desert, doing cartwheels in Yosemite National Park, losing money in Las Vegas, teaching English in China, eating the tastiest ever Bruschetta in Amsterdam, getting lost and being saved, running through Time Square crying with laugher whilst wearing an I Heart NYC t-shirt bought two minutes earlier from a street vendor, and even the shitty times travelling are good because I learn from them.

Don’t get me wrong, it would be nice to live in a big house so I could invite people to stay over, dine in fancy restaurants all the time, buy more gifts for people, and maybe have a laptop and a phone that doesn’t automatically turn off all the time.

But then I ask myself: If I lost every material possession I owed would I still be happy? And that’s when I realise I’m making the right choices. Sure, I’d miss a few things but I wouldn’t be losing much and I’d still have my memories and my desires, things which continually bring meaning to my life. Without them I’d live in a meaningless world. They are part of me and nobody can take them away.

We need to redefine the meaning of success.

So I’m not too worried at the moment if I don’t gather any moss because I’m too busy gathering memories, a different kind of moss, and I’m going to keep rolling until something or someone makes me want to stop.

Are you like a rolling stone?

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Hi, I'm Shing

Welcome to The Culture Map, a place where I share my travel guides, adventurous tales, and capture the inspiring diversity of our world.

14 Responses

  1. Oh my god your blog!! Now I’m super jealous – it’s so prettyyy!

    Also, the other day I was listening to a podcast and asked Dan where the English guy with the bizarre accent was from and he was like “Can’t you tell? The same place as your blogger friend Shing!” hahahaha (so obviously I couldn’t understand him at all)

    p.s. I like the way you roll 🙂

    1. Yey, glad you like my new blog design!

      Haha, at least we have the written form! Seriously, I may as well be speaking another language 99% of the time. Imagine if I tried Vblogging?

  2. Shing – you are so much like me in thought. Possessions come, and possessions go – but you always have the memories you build, and you are so right, when there are not things in your life to tie you down, you should be on the roam. it’s good for your heart, and good for your soul. Your writing and love of life always impress me, and I hope we meet some day so that can be a memory I will always cherish as well. Keep on keeping on. I’m there with you in spirit as you travel, and you touch so many lives even when perhaps you do not realize it. Brad in San Diego

    1. Hi brad, I second your comment about roaming – it really is good for the heart and soul! It’s so nice when I read a comment that’s so align with my own words.

      Let me know if you ever come to England, and likewise if I’m in San Diego! I hope you’re having a fantastic summer!

  3. Hi Shing! Though I’m still on my leave from blogging I wanted to stop by and say hi to you 🙂 If you are doing what makes you happy then continue on that path. Everyone will have a different measurement of success but like you I don’t find that to be in a material things. Albeit, there are some material things that increase in value that allow us to do more fun things down the road. I hope you keep a journal because you will be fascinated to go back and read it from year to year to see how your perspective continued to change and evolve. It is what is so amazing about being human and living in this life! Have a great day, my friend 🙂

    1. Hi Mike, how are you? I don’t keep a journal, this blog was supposed to be a kind of journal but I don’t blog enough for it to constitute as one hah! I hope you’re still writing even if it isn’t for everyone to see. But I can see from my early days on what I used to write about and how I used to travel that my perspective on certain matters have changed. And you’re right, that’s what makes being human and living life so special, we have to be open to change if we want to grow as people!

  4. Staying in places a bit longer opens doors to people. I’m currently in Pamplona for a while and the first thought was actually to see a guy I made friends with on the previous trip – not the hostel. Rolling stones do gather moss, when they roll a bit slower.

  5. I agree – I’m happy just gathering memories at the moment. A part of me wants to settle where I am, and develop in my wonderful career, but another part of me wants to get up and leave all the time. Lovely, thoughtful post.

    1. Hi Lily! I enjoy following your life in Burma at the moment whilst you teach! I cant imagine it’s all easy, and I completely know how the desire to get up and leave again can feel more alluring even if the reality of doing so isn’t.

  6. I love the new look of your blog Shing. Very nice. 🙂 Does a rolling stone gather no moss? Sure it does. At the right time. Everyone has a different path to lead. You’re young and your path leads you to travel to destinations afar. Enjoy the moment and follow your own path completely guilt-free as long as it’s your choice to do so.
    When I was at university, I had the same thoughts. I didn’t even have a “real” boyfriend until I was 21. I had no time for relationships in those days, not to talk of marriage and moved from country to country LOL! At one point, I told my friends and family that I was travelling for 6 weeks, I came back 2 years later LOL! Be aware that just because a person has “settled down” it doesn’t mean that they’ve settled.

    I’ve been travelling for close to 20 years (Yikes!) looking for something. Happily, when I found “the place” as an expat (Berlin), I also found “the one” and I’ve been extremely lucky to be able to “have it all” and still go travelling. Last year, I went to 10 countries, this year, I’ve already been to 8! You’ll gather your own moss, in your own way, at your own time. Don’t worry. 🙂
    P.S. I had an office in Greenwich and it’s gorgeous in the summer months.

    1. Happy you like the new look Victoria! The comfort of travelling is that I will know, like you already have, for certain what feels right when I do eventually settle down in a place. It doesn’t surprise me why you’ve chosen Berlin, it really is one of the world’s greatest cities! I’ve been toying with the idea of moving there for a year or so, if it does happen I’ll let you know!!

      P.S. An office in Greenwich is ideal when you can just hope to the indoor food market for lunch mmmm!

  7. What a beautiful post; I love the way you think. I’ve spent the past four years trying to organise my life into someone else’s version of success but have decided to chuck it all in to travel – your post makes me really excited to do that. Sorry if you’re missing London but hey; Yorkshire is a beautiful part of the world as well. 🙂 Amy x

    1. Hey Amy! I’m happy this post resonated with you, it sounds like you’re about to embark on an awesome adventure – don’t hold back and enjoy the ride! 🙂 x

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